Date men from Canada / Ontario / Bracebridge, 52 year old

Date a man from Bracebridge, Canada. Inattentive, uncommunicative, incontinent, retrobate with mild halitosis seeks comfort via brief non-platonic relationship with nubile, flexible siren. References required.
I'm new to cyber-dating (read cruising), so please bear with me while I rant, but, wtf, why do 99% of all the profiles use the same 20 words (happy-go-lucky sincere, easy-going, fun, intelligent, ...) What does "easy-going" even mean; does it mean that you wouldn't return your under cooked meal at a restaurant, does it mean you "go with the flow", or does it mean you are a wet noodle who bends to the will of others?
I apologize to you if you used any of these words; I'm critical of the format not the individual.
I like puppies, ice cream, and rainbows, but does this really give you any insight into my character.
I promise to adhere more closely to the format and use some of the "inspirational suggestions".
My closest friends would describe me as a "vile, overly opinionated, curmudgeon".
I guess if you are still reading, you have a sense of humour (albeit macabre), so lets continue.
To be serious for a moment, I would like to express my preferences:
I prefer substance over style.
I prefer playing over watching (originally a reference to sports, but after re-examination, it applies to a lot of things).
I prefer a camp fire over a bar (Tiki Bar being the exception).
I prefer a canoe/kayak/sail boat over a sports car.
I prefer a hammock over a couch.
I prefer spicy over bland.
I prefer preservationism over consumerism.
I prefer pragmaticism over theory.
I believe everyone has an inalienable right to their opinion no matter how "whacked" it is.
I believe that we all belong to one community and if anyone or thing degrades, harms, or hinders any individual, the community suffers as a whole.
I believe we should strive to be a person of value not a person of success.
I believe that everyone has at least one soul mate and the search for said soul mate drives us to do the crazy crap we do.
Cheers and good luck with your respective searches.

Meet someone special from Bracebridge, Canada. Another question that requires an answer. Widower at too young an age. Have recently returned to Muskoka after having spent time working overseas in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Thought it appropriate to update my profile and include some pictures for all to view and appreciate. Haha. Right now work is what I do but not who I am. I am unselfish, and have an abundance goodwill, compassion, and caring.
The person that I am looking for....my, oh my....a very special woman of course! But aren't all women special? OK, I 'll narrow it down a little. Down to earth, easy going but someone who is also charged with excitement. A woman who is independent, fun loving, and a bunch more. I recently said to a very "good friend" that life is timing. So goes life. Email can be very tough. So let's talk instead.

Date a soulmate from Bracebridge, Canada. I want to find a woman who can accept me for who I am and not give me grief if I want to go out with the boys even though she would most likely be invited along. I am recovered from a broken back so I am quite active in my rehab.

Meet single man from Bracebridge, Canada. Just looking for a stable , independant, employed,lady that is attractive ..fun..and witty that is family oriented...and a good cook would be a bonus. Well apparently gotta do 200 characters..will update shortly